Joe: “I lost my dog today. I’m heartbroken.”
Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe. Why don’t you put an ad in the newspaper?”
Joe: “Why, my dog can’t read?”
humorous
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend and I were drinking wine when she said, ‘I love you so much. I can’t live without you.”
Pete: “That is so sweet, what did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Is that you talking or is it the wine.’ She said, ‘It’s me talking to the wine.'”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My dog is highly intelligent. He can compute math problems.”
Pete: “Really? This is amazing.”
Joe: “Yah. Just this morning I asked him what nine from nine was and he said nothing.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “The pandemic has turned me into a dog.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “I roam about the house all day looking for food. People tell me “no” if I get too close to them. And I get really excited about car rides.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I am really proud of myself. I’ve stuck to a commitment for two weeks.”
Pete: “Congratulations, Joe. What are you doing?”
Joe: “I gave up dieting and haven’t gone back.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I asked my personal trainer what machine I should use to impress my twenty year old girlfriend.”
Pete: “What did your personal trainer suggest?”
Joe: “He said if I want to impress my girlfriend I should use the ATM.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I was feeling depressed so I went to the gym and did bench presses.”
Pete: “Did it help?”
Joe: “Yah, I was able to get something off my chest.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I caught my girlfriend cheating with my best friend.”
Pete: “That’s terrible, Joe. What did you do?”
Joe: “I told them that was the last time I was playing Monopoly with them.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I thought my personal trainer girlfriend was a keeper, but she broke up with me.”
Pete: “What happened?”
Joe: “She said, ‘I just wasn’t working out.'”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend broke up with me even though I told her I’d inherit a fortune when my dad died.”
Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe.”
Joe: “You’ve got that right, she’s now my mom.”
