Joe: “I was going to tell you a joke about leeches but decided not to.”
Pete: “C’mon, Joe. Tell me.”
Joe: “I can’t. It sucks.”
joe
Today’s Jokes: Joe’s GF is Getting Serious
Joe: “My girlfriend introduced me to her parents.”
Pete: “That’s a good sign. What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Hi, I usually don’t make it this far.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Admires His GF
Joe: My girlfriend was diagnosed as having a multiple personality disorder.”
Pete: “Is that causing a problem?”
Joe, “No, she’s good people.”
Today’s Joke: Is it a Compliment?
Joe: “My girlfriend complimented me on the way I come up with ideas.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You have a mind like a steel trap. That’s illegal in most civilized countries.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Disagrees with His Psychologist
Joe: “My psychologist told me I’m suffering from delusional thoughts.”
Pete: “What did you say to your Psychologist?”
Joe: “I said, ‘No I’m not. I’m enjoying every minute of them.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s on a New Diet
Joe: “I’ve been on a new diet for a week.”
Pete: “How’s it working?”
Joe: “I drink beer whenever I’m thirsty. So far I’ve lost three days.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s a Slow Learner
Joe: “I learned something by sleeping nude.”
Pete: “What was that?”
Joe: “Flight attendants are not too understanding.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Made for Each Other
Joe: “My girlfriend is learning to read with braille for her job. Right now she’s reading a horror story written in braille.”
Pete: “How does she like the story she’s reading?”
Joe: “She said she knows it’s going to have a bad ending, she can just feel it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Better Change His Plans
Joe: “I told my girlfriend I could be anyone I wanted to be.”
Pete: “That’s inspiring. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “That doesn’t mean you can do identity theft.”
Today’s Joke: Joe, Take a Hint
Joe: My girlfriend is afraid of making a commitment.”
Pete: “Has she said so?
Joe: “We’ve been together for two years and she still hasn’t told me her name.”
