joke

Joe: “I moved into a new apartment building today.”

Pete: “That’ great. Does it have a gym in the building?”

Joe: “I don’t know, I haven’t met everyone yet.”

Joe: “I was asked to be an organ donor.”

Pete: “What did you do?”

Joe: “I donated a piece of liver I had in the freezer.”

Joe: “What do you call a person who cheated on every test in school and college?”

Pete: “I have no idea, what?”

Joe: Hopefully, not your doctor.”

Joe: “I walked into my doctor’s office with a cucumber in my nose, a carrot in my left ear, and a banana in my right ear.”

Pete: “What did the doctor say?”

Joe: “My doctor said I wasn’t eating properly.

Joe: “I broke up with my optometrist girlfriend.”

Pete: “Why did you break up?”

Joe: “She was always saying do you like me like this . . . or this.”

Joe: “I told my libra girlfriend zodiac signs and horoscopes are a waste of time.”

Pete: “Why is that, Joe?”

Joe: “I’m a scorpio and we’re all skeptics.”

Joe: “My girlfriend started a long distance relationship with me.”

Pete: “Why is that?”

Joe: “She calls it a restraining order.”

Joe: “I know it’s time for me to take a vacation.”

Pete: “How do you know that, Joe?”

Joe: “I’m beginning to look like my photo on my driver’s license.”

Joe: “My wife and went to a marriage counselor and all she did was complain.”

Pete: “What was she complaining about.”

Joe: “She said we had the perfect marriage until my girlfriend started dating her boyfriend.”

Joe: “My wife was upset. She said I don’t listen to her. She was so wrong.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I asked her if she knew the score of last night’s game.”