joke

Joe: “My wife told our marriage counselor that I don’t buy her flowers.”

Pete: “What did  you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I didn’t know she was selling flowers.'”

Joe: “My psychologist told me I had to stop trying to please others all the time.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘Sure, if it makes you happy.'”

Joe: “When I was a kid I loved making sandcastles with my grandfather. But my mom made me stop.”

Pete: “What happened?

Joe: “She took my grandfather’s urn away.”

Joe: “I saw a psychologist to treat my swollen ego.”

Pete: “How did it work out?”

Joe: “I think it worked. I’m feeling and looking much better than everyone I met today.”

Joe: “There’s no point in going to a child psychologist.”

Pete: “Why is that, Joe?”

Joe: “They’re too young.”

Joe: “My boss called me into her office and asked me if I’d like to relocate.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘Sure, where would you like me to sit.'”

Source

Joe: “I went for a job interview and was asked, ‘Tell us something about yourself.'”

Pete: “How did you answer?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I prefer not, I want this job.'”

Source

Joe: “I interviewed for a job yesterday and the recruiter asked me. ‘How long were you in your last position?”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'”

Source

Joe: “I got fired from my job as a massage therapist.”

Pete: “What happened?”

Joe: “My supervisor said I rub people the wrong way.”

Joe: “I got fired on my first day as a waiter.”

Pete: “Why did they fire you?”

Joe: “Apparently, the customer didn’t want pee soup.”