joke

Joe: “I was offered a new job today. My salary will be $1000 a week. In six months it increases to $1500 a week. I was asked when I wanted to start.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said I’d start in six months.” 

Joe: “My boss told me he was looking for me all day and I couldn’t be found.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘Good employees are hard to find.'”

Joe: “I’m not going back to work until my boss apologies for what he said to me.”

Pete: “What did your boss say?”

Joe: “My boss said, “Your fired.”

Source

Joe: “My boss calls me ‘the computer.'”

Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”

Joe: “I go to sleep if left alone for 15 minutes.”

Source

Joe: “My boss asked me if I could work this weekend.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said sure, but I’d be a little late. I should get to work by Monday.”

Joe: “I told my boss we have to stop testing our product on animals. He said other companies do it all the time.”

Pete: “How did you respond?”

Joe: “I said, ‘But, boss we only make hammers.'”

Source

Joe: “My boss confronted me this morning and said, ‘Do you know this is the third time you’ve been late this week? What do you have to say?”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, it means it is Wednesday.”

Source

Joe:  “I’ve decided to start dating older women.”

Pete: “Why, Joe?”

Joe: “There used to being disappointed, so they’ll be ready for me.

Joe: “My boss mentored me today and told me to start dressing like the job I wanted.”

Pete: “That was nice of your boss. What did you do?”

Joe:  “I came to work today dressed as Batman.”

Joe: “My boss was angry with me this morning. She kept shouting at me for nearly an hour.” 

Pete: “How did it end, Joe?”

Joe: “She stopped hollering when I said, ‘You’re right, honey.'”