joke

Joe: “My girlfriend broke up with me.”

Pete: “What did she say?”

Joe: “She said she’ll always treasure her original misconceptions of me.”

Joe: “There’s a great new machine at my gym. I got sick after using it for an hour.”

Pete: “Will you use it again?”

Joe: “Probably, it’s got everything, espressos, lattes, chips, chocolates.”  

Joe: “I wasn’t hungry when I went to McDonald’s, so I ate a kid’s meal.”

Pete: “How did it work out?”

Joe: “The kid’s mother was really angry.”

Joe: “I had a panic attack that I was shrinking, so I went to my doctor.”

Pete: “What did your doctor say?”

Joe: “My doctor told me to calm down and be a little patient.”

Source

Joe: “My psychic cancelled my appointment for next week.”

Pete: “Did she say why?”

Joe: “She said I wouldn’t be able to make it.”

Source

Joe: “I asked the IT guy at work how to make a motherboard.”

Pete: “Did he tell you?”

Joe: “He said, ‘I just tell my mom about my job.'”

Source

Joe: “I used to be indecisive.”

Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”

Joe: “I’m not sure.”

Joe: “My wife accused me of being immature.”

Pete: “What did you say.”

Joe: “I was kind. I asked her to join me in my tree house.”

Joe: “I put a skylight in my apartment.”

.Pete: “How’s it working out?”

Joe: “The people on the floor above me are really upset”

Joe: “A sandwich walks into a bar.”

Pete: “What did the bartender say?”

Joe: “The bartender said, “We don’t serve food here.'”