joke

Joe: “My boss fired me, this afternoon.”

Pete: “Why’d your boss do that?”

Joe: “When my boss stepped into my office, I said, “If you’re here, who’s running hell/””

Joe: “I met this woman at a bar and I told her, ‘I want to give myself to you.'”

Pete: “What did she say?”

Joe: “She said, ‘I don’t accept cheap gifts.'”

Source

Joe: “Charging cables walked into a bar and asked for a beer.”

Pete: “What did the bartender say?”

Joe: “The bartender said, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.'”

Joe: “I wrote a song last night about tortillas.”

Pete: “That’s great, Joe. What is the melody?”

Joe: “It’s a rap.”

Source

Joe: “My boss asked me if I knew the difference between apathy and ignorance.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I told my boss, ‘I don’t know and I don’t care.'”

Joe: “My girlfriend and I named our dog Egypt.”

Pete: “How did you choose that name.”

Joe: “Easy. He leaves a pyramid in a every room.”

Joe: “My doctor told me to watch my drinking.”

Pete: “How’s that working?”

Joe: “Now I drink in front of a mirror.”

Joe: “I’m getting tired of the ups and downs in my life.”

Pete: “What’s the problem, Joe?”

Joe: “I’ve decided to take the elevator instead of the stairs when I go to work.”

Joe: “My boss was upset  because he saw me coming out of a bar with a woman, when I had told him I was going to see my dentist.”

Pete: “What did you say.”

Joe: “I told him the truth, she is my dentist.”

Joe: “My boss thinks I’m an employee worth keeping an eye on.”

Pete: “That’s great, Joe.”

Joe: “That’s what the security guard told me.”