Joe: “I have an imaginary friend and he keeps making fun of me.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “He keeps saying at least he has a real person as a friend.”
laugh out loud
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend text me to say she was breaking up with me because I am too childish.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “I went over to her house and rang the doorbell and ran away.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I told her I was shocked, aghast, appalled and dismayed.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I told my ex she should join an anti vax group.”
Pete: “Why did you do that?”
Joe: “She likes to be surrounded by people who don’t last long.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I think my ex has a sever case of COVID-19.”
Pete: “What makes you thing she has COVID-19?”
Joe: “A Judge gave me an order to stay at least 100 yards away from her.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Guess who who woke up this morning to 10 missed calls from their ex?”
Pete: “Who?”
Joe: “My ex.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My ex still misses me.”
Pete: “She does?”
Joe: “Yes, but, her aim is getting better.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Today was a terrible day.”
Pete: “What happened, Joe?”
Joe: “First, my ex got hit by a bus. Second, I lost my job as a bus driver.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Pete, do you know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?”
Pete: “No, what is it, Joe?”
Joe: “The taste.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I was at my lawyer’s bedside when he woke up from surgery and asked why I had closed the blinds.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘There’s a raging fire across the street and I didn’t want you think the operation was a failure.”
