Joe: “I moved into a new apartment this weekend.”
Pete: “Is there a gym in the building?”
Joe: “I don’t know, I haven’t met everyone.”
laugh out loud
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I took my girlfriend to a classy restaurant last night and the maître d’ said, ‘Do you have reservations?'”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Yes, I have reservations, I hear the portions are small, the wait staff snooty, and you don’t have pizza.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I quit my gym this morning because my personal trainer started shouting at me, “Come on Joe, you’ve got to want it! Come on push. You can do it.”
Pete: “This bothered you?”
Joe: “I hate being disturbed when I’m sitting on the toilet.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I think I’m going to leave my wife. Every night she hits bar after bar.”
Pete: “Why is she doing that, Joe?”
Joe: “She’s looking for me.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I wasn’t feeling well and went to my doctor. I told him I was sick as a dog.”
Pete: “What did your doctor say?”
Joe: “My doctor asked how long I was feeling this way and I said, ‘Ever since I was a puppy’.'”
Source
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My neighbor is really rude. At 3 a.m. this morning he wouldn’t stop ringing my doorbell.”
Pete: “Were you upset?”
Joe: “Not really, fortunately, I was awake practicing my drum solo.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I met my wife at a singles bar.”
Pete: “Really?”
Joe: “Yah, I thought she was home watching the kids.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend told me she won’t tolerate infidelity.”
Pete: “What do you think about that?”
Joe: “Fortunately, my wife is more tolerant.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend called and said she was breaking up.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I told her, it wasn’t a problem, I could hear her just fine on my cell phone.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My boss came into my cubicle and said, “You missed work yesterday.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “Not particularly.”
