Joe: “My dream has finally come true. I was accepted at Harvard.”
Pete: “Do you know how many applied?”
Joe: “Yah, I was selected out of 100 to be a janitor.”
one-liner
Today’s Joke: Joe is a Natural
Joe: “I used to play piano by ear.”
Pete: “You must be a natural.”
Joe: “Now I use my hands.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Thinks Joe Is Putting on Weight
Joe: “My girlfriend told me I was getting fat.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Lately, I’ve had a lot on my plate.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Has a New Workout Routine
Joe: “My girlfriend got a new workout routine. She’s really good at it.”
Pete: “What is it?”
Joe: Jumping to conclusions.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Bought a Keyboard
Joe: “I bought a keyboard and already I can play all the notes.”
Pete: “You must be a natural.”
Joe: ‘I still have to learn how to put them in the right order.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Buddy Has an Operation
Joe: “My buddy Phillip had his lower lip removed last week.”
Pete: That’s horrible.”
Joe: “Yah. We now call him Phil.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Has an Opinion
Joe: “My girlfriend says making love while on vacation is the best.”
Pete: “It must be because you’re so relaxed.”
Joe: “I wish she didn’t tell me by text message.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Needs to Think a Bit More
Joe: “I read online that someone in New York gets stabbed every sixty seconds.”
Pete: “Really?”
Joe: “Yah, poor guy.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Got a Bad Eval at Work
Joe: “I got a poor evaluation from my boss at work. I told my girlfriend about it.”
Pete: What did she say?
Joe: “She said, ‘You’re not as bad as your boss said. You’re much worse.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Boss Wants Joe’s Constructive Criticism. What Could Go Wrong?
Joe: “My boss said, ‘I’m looking for constructive criticism. I want you to be frank with me.'”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “I’d have to go to court first and request a name change.”
