Joe: “The lifeguard screamed at me when he caught me taking a pee in our local pool.”
Pete: “How did you react?”
Joe: “He scared me. I nearly fell in the pool.”
Comedy
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Go to a Restaurant
Joe: “My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant and the waiter and chef were arguing.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “We decided not to take sides.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Won’t Tell Pete a Joke
Joe: “I was going to tell you a joke about leeches but decided not to.”
Pete: “C’mon, Joe. Tell me.”
Joe: “I can’t. It sucks.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Has a Fear of Elevators
Joe: “I’m afraid to ride in an elevator. I think the power will go out and I’ll be trapped.”
Pete: “What are you doing overcome your fear.”
Joe: “I’m taking steps to get better.”
Today’s Jokes: Joe’s GF is Getting Serious
Joe: “My girlfriend introduced me to her parents.”
Pete: “That’s a good sign. What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Hi, I usually don’t make it this far.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Admires His GF
Joe: My girlfriend was diagnosed as having a multiple personality disorder.”
Pete: “Is that causing a problem?”
Joe, “No, she’s good people.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Give His Grandpa Advice
Joe: “My grandpa needed some computer help so I told him control P would work.
Pete: “How did it go?
Joe: “My grandpa said, “Idiot, I’ve been trying to do that for years and it hasn’t worked yet,
Today’s Joke: Joe Got Tossed from an AA Meeting
Joe: “I was thrown out of AA for bringing a can of beer to the meeting. I accepted their decision with grace.”
Pete: “What did you do when they asked you to leave.”
Joe: “As I said, I left with Grace.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Goes on a Diet
Joe: “My girlfriend is on an all almond diet.”
Pete: “What do you think of that diet?”
Joe: “It’s nuts.”
Today’s Joke: Is it a Compliment?
Joe: “My girlfriend complimented me on the way I come up with ideas.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You have a mind like a steel trap. That’s illegal in most civilized countries.'”
