Joe: “My psychologist told me I’m suffering from delusional thoughts.”
Pete: “What did you say to your Psychologist?”
Joe: “I said, ‘No I’m not. I’m enjoying every minute of them.”
Comedy
Today’s Joke: Joe’s on a New Diet
Joe: “I’ve been on a new diet for a week.”
Pete: “How’s it working?”
Joe: “I drink beer whenever I’m thirsty. So far I’ve lost three days.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s a Slow Learner
Joe: “I learned something by sleeping nude.”
Pete: “What was that?”
Joe: “Flight attendants are not too understanding.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Made for Each Other
Joe: “My girlfriend is learning to read with braille for her job. Right now she’s reading a horror story written in braille.”
Pete: “How does she like the story she’s reading?”
Joe: “She said she knows it’s going to have a bad ending, she can just feel it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Better Change His Plans
Joe: “I told my girlfriend I could be anyone I wanted to be.”
Pete: “That’s inspiring. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “That doesn’t mean you can do identity theft.”
Today’s Joke: Joe, Take a Hint
Joe: My girlfriend is afraid of making a commitment.”
Pete: “Has she said so?
Joe: “We’ve been together for two years and she still hasn’t told me her name.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Gets Some Unsettling News
Joe: “When I was 14 my dad told me I was adopted. I demanded to know who the identity of my biological parents.”
Pete: “What did your dad say?
Joe: “He said, ‘We are your biological parents. Your new parents will pick you up in 30 minutes.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF are Thinking of Becoming Parents
Joe: “My girlfriend and I would like to have kids one day.”
Pete: “That’s nice.”
Joe: “The only problem is we don’t think we could stand them any longer than that.
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Got Relationship Problems
Joe: “I asked Alexa why I can’t keep a girlfriend.”
Pete: “How did Alexa answer?”
Joe: “She said, “I’m Siri, fool.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Misinterprets the Instructions
Joe: ‘My girlfriend asked me to clear the table.”
Pete: “Was that a problem?”
Joe: “No. But I needed a running start.”
