Joe: “I stopped day dreaming at work.”
Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”
Joe: “My mind keeps wandering.”
funny
Today’s Joke: Joe Called the Paranoia Hotline
Joe: “I was having problems last night and called the paranoia hotline.”
Pete: “What did they say?”
Joe: “They said, “How did you get this number?”
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes for His Annual Physical
Joe: “I went for my annual physical today. The doctor was late, and the receptionist said, “I’m sorry for your wait.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘That’s okay, I’ve been fat all my life.'”
Today’s Poem: The Dog by Ogden Nash
The Dog
Ogden Nash
The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state that the dog is full of love.
I’ve also found, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.
Today’s Joke: Joe Stopped Wearing Glasses
Joe: “I’m not wearing glasses anymore.”
Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”
Joe: “I’ve seen enough.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Happy with His New Running Shoes
Joe: “I love my new orthodontic running shoes.”
Pete: “I think you mean orthopedic running shoes.”
Joe: “I stand corrected.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF is seeking Professional Help
Joe: “My girlfriend has been meditating for six months. Now she has to seeking professional help.”
Pete: “What’s wrong.”
Joe: “She’s been stuck in the present moment for five months.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Doesn’t Know the Answer to His GF’s Question
Joe: “My girlfriend asked if I knew why it a million sperm to fertilize one egg.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I shrugged my shoulders and she said, “They never ask for directions.”
Today’s Joke:
Joe: “My dad told me that 70 was the new 50.”
Pete: “What did you say to him.”
Joe: “I said, “That’s not a good defense on your court appearance for speeding.”.
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Accuses Joe of Being Lazy
Joe: “My girlfriend was upset with me. She accused me of being lazy.”
Pete: “How did you respond to her?”
Joe: “I said, “Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t do anything.”
