Joe: “I asked my girlfriend if she felt suicidal.”
Pete: “That was good of you, Joe. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘If I wanted to commit suicide, I’d climb to the top of your ego and jump.'”
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Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Dine Out
Joe: “I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant and she complained that the food was terrible.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I agree and the portions are way too small.”
Today’s Joke: Is Joe Reading a Self Help Book?
Joe: “I’m reading a book that explains everything about my life.”
Pete: “What’s the book’s title?”
Joe: “Inertia.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Orders Coffee from Starbucks
Joe: “I went to Starbucks and ordered a coffee without cream.”
Pete: “Did they get your order right?”
Joe: ‘Not quite. The barista said, ‘We’re out of cream, how about no milk?'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Into Astronomy
Joe: “Do you like Orion’s Belt?”
Pete: “I guess.”
Joe: “I give it three stars.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Gives Him Advice
Joe: “This morning, over breakfast with my girlfriend, I was telling her about my talk today. She gave me some advice.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Don’t try to be charming, intelligent, or witty. Just be yourself.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Challenges His Night School Professor
Joe: “I told my night school professor I didn’t deserve an F on my test and he agreed with me.”
Pete: “He did? What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, F was the lowest grade the computers allowed him to give me.”
Today’s Joke: Joe is a Natural
Joe: “I used to play piano by ear.”
Pete: “You must be a natural.”
Joe: “Now I use my hands.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Asks Joe a Question
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me if I heard of Pavlov.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “It rings a bell.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Has a New Job
Joe: “Tomorrow I start my new job as a garbage collector. But they didn’t give me any training.”
Pete: “What will you do?”
Joe: “The boss said not to worry, I’ll pick it up as I go.”
