Joe: “When I was younger I was a street mime in Vegas.”
Pete: “How did it go?”
Joe: “It’s only now that I can talk about it.”
one-liner
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes for His Annual Physical
Joe: “I went for my annual physical today. The doctor was late, and the receptionist said, “I’m sorry for your wait.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘That’s okay, I’ve been fat all my life.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Careful Who He Listens To
Joe: “I told myself to stop drinking.”
Pete: “Are you going to do it?”
Joe: “No. Do you think I’m going to listen to a drunk giving me advice.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Has a Problem
Joe: “My Psychologist told me I have CDO.”
Pete: “What’s that?”
Joe: “It’s like OCD but all the letters are in order.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Accuses Him of Cheating
Joe: “My girlfriend is accusing me of cheating on her.”
Pete: “Why is she doing that?”
Joe: “Because I started showering three times a week.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Working His Humor on Pete
Joe: “What starts with a W and ends with a T?”
Pete: “I don’t know, what?”
Joe: “That’s right.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Sees His Dermatologist
Joe: “I went to my dermatologist with a suspicious looking mole.”
Pete: “What did your dermatologist say?”
Joe: “He said they all look that way and I should have left it in the garden.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Are Sharing Intimate Secrets. What Could Go Wrong?
Joe: “I told my girlfriend the truth. I said I was seeing a psychiatrist.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said she was going to tell me the truth. She was seeing a dentist, physical trainer and a bartender.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Been Sober
Joe: “I’ve been sober for 100 days.”
Pete: “That’s great, Joe.”
Joe: “They’re not in a row.”
Today’s Joke: It’s Making Joe Break Out in a Sweat
Joe: “I have a fear of tsunamis.”
Pete: “How bad is your fear, Joe?”
Joe: “It comes in waves.”
