Joe: “My girlfriend told me she gets lost in my eyes.”
Pete: “She’s really in to you.”
Joe: “I’m not sure. She add, ‘I also get lost in malls and big cities.”
one-liners
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Hearing Voices
Joe: “I told my girlfriend that I am hearing voices.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You don’t have a girlfriend.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Sets Pete Up
Joe: “Pete, imagine you walk into a bar and line of guys is waiting to hit you.”
Pete: “Okay, so?”
Joe: “That’s the punch line.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Plays Scrabble with His GF
Joe: “I played Scrabble with my girlfriend and I knew she was mad at me.”
Pete: “How did you know she was mad at you?”
Joe: “I drew seven tiles: e b u l o t r and I knew it was trouble.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Sees His Psychologist
Joe: “My psychologist told me that I like to pursue damaged people and help them.”
Pete: “What did you say to your psychologist?”
Joe: “I said, ‘You do Too.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Wants Children?
Joe: “I think I’d like to have kids one day.”
Pete: “Really?”
Joe: “I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Got Relationship Issues
Joe: “My girlfriend treats me like God.”
Pete: “How so?”
Joe: “She ignores me until she wants something.”
Today’s Joke:
Joe: “I got a question that’s been bugging me.”
Pete: “What’s your question?”
Joe: “If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His Girlfriend Broke Up
Joe: “My lactose intolerant girlfriend is broke up with me.”
Pete: “Why did she break up your relationship?
Joe: “She hated my cheesy jokes.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Claims He Doesn’t Have a Beer Gut
Joe: “I don’t have a beer gut.”
Pete: “You don’t?”
Joe: “No. I call it a protective covering for my rock hard abs.”
