Joe: “My girlfriend and I went on a trip to a postcard factory last weekend end.”
Pete: “How was it?”
Joe: “Nothing to write home about.”
comedy
Today’s Joke: This Will Keep Joe Awake
Joe: “I went to our library and asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia.”
Pete: “Did they?”
Joe: “Yah. They were right behind me.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Had a Bad Breakup
Joe: “I broke up with my girlfriend and texted her, “You can take me off of speed dial.”
Pete: “Did she respond?”
Joe: “She text back, “Who is this?”
Today’s Joke: Joe Got Tossed from an AA Meeting
Joe: “I was thrown out of AA for bringing a can of beer to the meeting. I accepted their decision with grace.”
Pete: “What did you do when they asked you to leave.”
Joe: “As I said, I left with Grace.”
Today’s Joke: Is it a Compliment?
Joe: “My girlfriend complimented me on the way I come up with ideas.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You have a mind like a steel trap. That’s illegal in most civilized countries.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s on a New Diet
Joe: “I’ve been on a new diet for a week.”
Pete: “How’s it working?”
Joe: “I drink beer whenever I’m thirsty. So far I’ve lost three days.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s a Slow Learner
Joe: “I learned something by sleeping nude.”
Pete: “What was that?”
Joe: “Flight attendants are not too understanding.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Better Change His Plans
Joe: “I told my girlfriend I could be anyone I wanted to be.”
Pete: “That’s inspiring. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “That doesn’t mean you can do identity theft.”
Today’s Joke: Joe, Take a Hint
Joe: My girlfriend is afraid of making a commitment.”
Pete: “Has she said so?
Joe: “We’ve been together for two years and she still hasn’t told me her name.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Gets Some Unsettling News
Joe: “When I was 14 my dad told me I was adopted. I demanded to know who the identity of my biological parents.”
Pete: “What did your dad say?
Joe: “He said, ‘We are your biological parents. Your new parents will pick you up in 30 minutes.'”
